


Hurricane Couldn't Take You From Me

by colormyheartred



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4468352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colormyheartred/pseuds/colormyheartred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killian Jones finds a young and abandoned Emma Swan at port in the Enchanted Forest before he’s due to set sail and decides to take her along with him, not knowing that both of their lives are about to permanently entwine. (includes major character death)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurricane Couldn't Take You From Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thejollypirate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejollypirate/gifts).



She’s small. Her body is frail and her skin is pale.

But she’s _strong._ She has fire in her eyes and a lion in her chest, ready to pounce if she’s threatened by anything whatsoever.

He finds her hiding in an alleyway while he’s searching for his older brother Liam’s ship, actually happens into the alley because of a runaway coin.

Her eyes are wide when he leans down beside her to grab it. She has dirt and grime on her cheeks and her hair is a ratty, dirty mess. Her eyes shine a bright, fearful, emerald green, and her chin is dimpled just so. As he takes the whole of her in, he’s fairly certain he’s never seen a girl more beautiful than she is.

“Who are you?” he asks. “What are you doing here?”

The little girl with the tattered cloth dress blinks before licking her lips and glancing past him, his only indicator of the run she breaks out into a mere moment later.

He chases her. He’s not sure _why_ , but he chases her out into the main street of the seaside village and follows her, calling out, “Hey! Wait! I don’t want to hurt you!”

She glances back at him with those wide, terrified eyes and starts to deviate, nearly crashing into a few vendors and stands as she tries to lose him in the crowd.

It doesn’t work.

If there’s anything Killian Jones is, it’s persistent.

He catches up to her when she reaches the end of the dock, standing on the cliff that forms suddenly after a small climb up rocky terrain.

“Wait!” he pants out, pleading with her.

She stands there looking at him, her hair and dress flapping in the wind, and he shakes his head.

“I just want to help you.”

She stares at him, but doesn’t speak.

He holds his arm out. “I’m Killian Jones. What’s your name, love?”

The girl’s chest heaves and she hesitates, nibbling on her lower lip for a moment as she considers him. “Emma. Emma Swan.”

A smile spreads on his face. “Emma.” He nods once. “It’s good to meet you. Would you care to tell me what you’re doing all by yourself?”

Emma flinches when he takes a step closer to her and he curls his fingers into his palm, dropping his hand to his side. She’s still standing devastatingly close to the edge and he’s worried for her.

“Come down from there and we can talk. I can get your something to eat if you’d like.”  

She studies him, as a predator to prey, and he wonders what she’ll do. She can’t be older than fourteen, just a few years his junior.

He holds his breath for a few beats before she takes a step toward him.

They both move back toward the dock and he looks at her, trying to read her for what their next step should be.

“Do you want to eat?” he asks gently.

After studying him for a second, Emma nods her consent.

He pulls on a thin smile and guides her back toward the nearest cart with fruit on display. He plucks up as much as he can with the stipend he’s been given and then takes Emma toward the edge of the dock, where they dangle their legs and he studies her while she feasts on the juicy fruits hungrily.

He wonders if she’s been allowed to eat more than scraps before in her whole life.

Killian turns his attention back toward the horizon and takes a soft breath. “My father left me when I was a young lad. One day, he was teaching me the ways of a sailor, and the next, he up and disappeared without any explanation.”

When he turns to look at Emma again, she pauses her chewing to lick her lips, pulling them into her mouth thoughtfully.

She turns her attention to the horizon and he notices her shoulders drop, releasing the stress she’s carrying around.

“My parents abandoned me,” she tells him softly. “They left me in the forest when I was just a baby and I was taken in by a family, but…“ Emma shakes her head, dropping her shoulders again on a sigh. “They didn’t want me either. And with the war, it’s easy to see why.”

Killian frowns as he observes her. “Do you want… if you’d like, Liam’s taking me on his ship this time around because I’ve finally graduated from the academy and…” He pauses when she smiles, a _real_ smile, filling in her cheeks with a rosy hue. “And you could come along too, I was going to suggest. Maybe. I just- I’d hate to see you without any place to rest your head tonight.”

He isn’t sure where his attachment to this Swan girl has come from. Perhaps it’s the fact that he’d found her in an alley, a place he and Liam had frequented when they were younger, freshly without their father to support them. The realm isn’t the safest place for a lost girl hiding away in alleyways, not with the threat of war looming so immediately.

Her bony structure and dirty clothes have him feeling like he should _do_ something to help, because he has the means to. Liam’s always telling him about _good form_ , too. Liam would want to help Emma, and he’s certain he will.

“I don’t know…” Emma hesitates, looking down at her lap, where the fruit she’s yet to finish eating rests.

“It’ll just be for a short while,” he tells her, trying to soothe it over. “At least, if you want it to be. We’re going to travel to new places, so I’m sure you’ll find one suitable to your liking.”

Emma looks at him and he sees her thinking, practically. She narrows her eyes at him for a split second before nodding. “As long as it’s not going to be any trouble.”

Killian shakes his head. “Darling, helping you is anything but trouble. My brother is the captain and I like to think I’ve got some leeway with him.”

When he’s awarded with another smile, this one stretches out to her ears, and he swears, he’ll do anything in his power to make sure she smiles more often, because it is like sunshine piercing through rain clouds.

..

Liam wholeheartedly agrees to allowing Emma on his ship. Killian brings her aboard later that very afternoon and they decide on the arrangements of her travel with them on their missions around the realm.

Emma’s first task is a bath, which he helps her get started with heat in his cheeks. She gives him a wry grin as he steps back from the tub, freshly filled with warm water, and lifts her eyebrows at him.

“What’s the problem, Jones?”

She’s standing there, still fully clothed, and he’d like nothing more than to be a proper gentleman and get _out_ of the cabin so she can have her privacy, but Emma seems to have other ideas, stepping up to him.

“Could you help me out of this dress?”

Being that he can’t exactly deny his guest and newly acquainted friend, Killian pulls on a grin and nods, feeling the nerves and embarrassment twisting in his belly.

“Aye. Of course.”

He does as he’s been asked and thankfully, she holds her dress to keep it from falling, but he still gets a glimpse of her bare back, and it’s enough for him.

“Thanks.” She says, turning to look at him.

Killian nods minutely. “You’re welcome.”

He swallows as he turns around to head back up on deck, wiggling his fingers against his thighs as he walks.

It takes a little while for her to bathe, and Killian tries to get his head out of the clouds as he helps load the cargo hold, but, even with only knowing Emma for a few hours, he’s unable to get the image of her in a tub out of his mind.

They’d gotten her an outfit to wear before bringing her onto the ship and he’s not sorely disappointed when she pushes the hatch door open, stepping out on deck wearing leather pants with a matching navy blue vest atop a light white long sleeved shirt. She’s wearing her hair up, rather than down, and he’s caught off guard, causing one of the men behind him to crash into him with a crate in his arms.

He shakes out of it and apologizes under his breath before heading toward Emma.

Without the grime of the street coating her skin and entangled in her hair, she looks entirely different, almost angelic. Her hair is much fairer than he’d thought it would be, the color golden and bright. She seems more relaxed now. Her shoulders aren’t tense and she actually smiles a little at him.

“How was your bath?” he asks dumbly.

She nods. “I haven’t had a bath in so long. It was great.”

Killian stares at her for a moment, wanting to tell her that she’s _beautiful_ but not able to form the words on his lips. It might be the truth, but she’s not ready for it, and anyway, she’ll be leaving him soon enough. This is _just_ a temporary thing- a friend helping a friend.

“Good. Wonderful. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He grins at her.

Emma laughs softly through her nose and steps the rest of the way across the deck to meet up with him. “So… what does a girl do on a navy ship?”

He lifts an eyebrow, licking his lower lip, before pivoting around to see the line of loading crates and equipment.

“Well, we’re supposed to be loading the ship up with stock,” Killian tells her, reaching up to scratch behind his ear. “But I don’t think you need to _do_ anything. If you’d like, you could just go back below deck-”

She starts to move past him mid-sentence and he ends up chasing after her, down onto the dock, where she eagerly starts to move a barrel of drinking water toward the ship.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asks, bewildered at her straightforwardness.

Emma shrugs. “Helping.”

He watches her with an open jaw, his eyes narrowed slightly, and bloody hell, if he’s not completely taken by Emma Swan already.

She glances over her shoulder at him when she gets onto the ship with her barrel. “You gonna help or are you just going to stand there all day, Jones?”

Killian shakes his head, clicking his tongue in his cheek. “Demanding, too, aren’t you?”

Emma just grins and turns back to her task.

..

They share the captain’s cabin aboard _The Jewel of the Realm_. Because the captain’s quarters are the largest, with space adequate enough for a second bed, Liam has a cot brought in specifically for Emma, letting Killian take his bed while he takes the first officer’s cabin instead.

During the day, Killian has duties to perform, but since Emma is technically _his_ guest, Liam has him bring Emma around with him.

She’s a natural, it turns out, in many areas of sailing. She masters tying even the most difficult of knots in mere minutes, laughing when she’s finished because of the look on his face.

He gets just a little frustrated with her when they’re in the galley with the rest of the men during their supper break and she decidedly beats them _all_ in a game of cards.

He learns a lot about Emma Swan in the first few days at sea. She’s quiet and keeps to herself, mostly, preferring to take her off hours to read through the books in their shared cabin or gaze up at the sky, day or night.

Killian finds her out on the deck one night, her leather vest removed and her cloth shirt sleeves rolled up past her elbows, and her hair let down so it cascades over her shoulders in a waterfall of golden light.

Her arms are propped up on the railing of the side of the ship and she’s staring up at the moon, tonight a perfect crescent in the sky.

“In the academy, they taught us how to read the stars,” Killian tells her.

She turns, starting slightly. “Killian. Hi.”

He comes to stand beside her, keeping his distance so as to remain proper. “Good evening, Emma.”

Emma stares at him for a few beats and then looks up at the night sky again, pressing her arm against the railing and her teeth into her lower lip.

Killian studies her, bathed in cool moonlight, and he realizes that she hasn’t told him very much about her past. He knows that she was abandoned as an infant in the woods, knows that the families that took her in after that were cruel and abandoned her as well, but he wonders how she ever came to living in that alleyway by the water, wonders if she ever truly had a place to call her home.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” she says suddenly, turning to look at him again.

He furrows his brow. “What do you mean, love?”

She shakes her head and lets out a sigh. “I… people usually ignore me, or they think I’m up to no good, because I- I was a thief and I had to steal food, but it wasn’t a lot of food, you know? Just enough to get by.” Killian nods in understanding and she turns around, leaning her back against the side of the ship, her arms behind her. “I haven’t had a place to live in a really long time and this is just- thank you. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”

He shrugs. “You didn’t deserve that life, Swan.”

“You don’t know me.” Emma laughs. “How can you know that?”

Killian searches her eyes, moving just a step closer to her. “An orphan’s an orphan. I know how it works. I am one.”

Emma tilts her head at him as she gives him a pathetic look. “You have your brother.”

“Aye,” Killian agrees. “But the fact remains that we only had each other. You don’t, or didn’t, have anyone. I’d hoped we might be that rock for you that Liam was for me and I was for Liam.”

Suddenly, there are tears in her eyes and she blinks, sending them free. Big, fat tears streak down her face and she shakes her head. “Thank you.”

It pulls at his heart, the way she’s so fragile standing here in the openness of the night. He hesitates for a moment before deciding that he should comfort her, stepping up so that he can wipe at the tears dripping from the apples of her cheeks with the knuckles of his index fingers.

“There should be no more of these,” he murmurs, smiling a little. “You’re going to be quite alright now, Emma.”

She laughs through her tears and nods. “Yeah.”

He takes his hands back to his sides and she sniffles one time, straightening out with a curt nod. She turns back to the stars and offers him a small smile.

“Show me your stuff, Jones.”

Killian breaks out into a grin and stares at her for a short few moments, soaking in the way she smiles at him, the way her hair shines even in the low light of night.

His attention turns back to the stars and he clears his throat as he searches for a place to begin.

..

They make port for the first time after a whole week at sea.

Emma is happy to be on land again, though being at sea is definitely starting to become something she also enjoys quite a bit.

The Jones brothers have been nothing short of kind and helpful to her in this past week.

Whether it’s making sure she’s eating or that she’s comfortable in the captain’s quarters below deck, she’s never left feeling as if she doesn’t have enough.

Both brothers have been especially helpful in making conversation with her about her life before Killian found her.

While Emma does prefer talking with the younger Jones, the ensign is ever the trim and proper, follow the rules sort. His elder brother Captain Liam Jones, however, has no problem with bending the rules a bit.

Emma, being one who has lived under nothing but her own rules and regulations for most of her life, enjoys that in Liam.

“Ah, good morning, Emma,” he greets her as she comes above deck that morning they make port.

Emma smiles at him and turns to the land that the ship is heading for. “We’re making port?”

“Aye,” Liam chuckles. “My brother must’ve told you of my plans.”

Emma glances over at the ensign, who is busy with following the orders of his superior officer. She rolls her eyes as she moves closer to Captain Jones.

“Not exactly.”

Liam shakes his head as he stares at his younger brother. “That boy has his head in the clouds far too many times than not.” The captain turns to her, setting his hands on the buckle of his belt. “I’m afraid for his safety, Lady Swan.”

Emma laughs. “I wouldn’t be too worried, Captain.”

Liam grins. “Very well. I suppose you’re right. Would you care to help me guide our ship into port?”

Her eyes widen and she can tell the captain is amused purely by the look on his face.

“Don’t worry,” he adds wryly, “it isn’t nearly as difficult as one would think.”

It truly isn’t, especially with Captain Jones doing most of the work.

He has her laughing as she grips the wheel and she sees Killian looking up at her when she breaks out into a particularly loud laugh, the look on his face sheer awe.

She’s not sure how she merited his affections, and she’s not sure she wants them, seeing as she’s a few years younger than him and she’s still not sure that her time on _The Jewel of the Realm_ will be very long.

But she smiles at him specifically and she sees his cheeks flush and it makes her feel just that more valued, something she hasn’t felt so truly in her whole life.

Liam tells Killian that he needs him to go into the village to look for a few things for the ship and, it being both Emma and Killian’s first time away from the ship, Captain Jones requests that they do it together.

Killian, of course, is overjoyed to have her on his side. He grins from ear to ear and tilts his head to the side.

“You ready to go exploring, Swan?”

Emma grins right back at him. “Ready when you are, Ensign.”

Killian rolls his eyes a little at the mention of his ranking, but leads the way onto the dock by gangplank.

The village is busier than anything she’s ever seen. People are actively attending the vendors, children are playing, and practically the whole of the street is taken up by the shops.

“Woah,” Emma breathes.

Killian, who is standing beside her, smiles. “Aye.”

They both soak in the chaos until Killian tells her that the shop they’re looking for is supposed to be nearby.

“Come along,” he says, and then he’s off, walking straight into the mess of people.

Emma opens and closes her mouth and then forces her feet to move, rushing in behind him. He’s wearing his uniform, so she swears, it shouldn’t be terribly difficult to find him, except that it is.

She can’t find him, at all, and suddenly, she feels more lost than she was when he found her a week ago.

Fear settles in the pit of her belly and she starts breathing fast, her eyes widening.

She’s about to call out for him, knowing full well that it’ll be like hearing a pin drop in the middle of this mess of people in negotiations and conversations of their own, but then, out of nowhere, her hand is captured by a firmer one.

Emma whips around, ready to rip away her arm and beat whoever has her in their grip, but stops short when she finds that it’s Killian, smiling at her as if nothing happened at all.

“Wha-”

He takes her hand tighter against his and leans in so she can hear him, his voice and breath warm against the shell of her ear, “Hold on this time, love. It’s a bit chaotic here, hm?”

Emma nods when she meets his eyes and he winks at her, holding her hand to his chest as if to say he’s not going to let go, before he starts forward again, tugging her right along with him this time.

..

“So, did you like the island?” Killian asks as they sit on the dock beside the ship.

They still have an hour or so before Liam will want them back on the ship, but since everything they’ve been tasked to do is completed, they’re sharing a sandwich and a small bar of chocolate, something Killian spent most of his allowance to pay for.

She finds him endearing in the way he’s always trying to make sure she’s treated so well. She knows not every man is like this, that Killian Jones is truly a special breed, and she can’t help the way her heart squeezes when she looks at him now in consideration of all he’s done and what she knows he’ll continue to do.

Emma shakes her head and scrunches up her nose in distaste. “Not really.”

“Yeah.” Killian agrees quickly.

She holds back a smile. “I think I’ll keep looking. For a place to start new.”

The Ensign nods. “Aye. That sounds like a good idea.”

He’s so serious, looking back out at the sea as if he’s afraid of getting too attached to her. She finds it a little silly, because she doesn’t feel like leaving him just yet, but at the same time, she can relate. Already, the Jones brothers have been something of an anchor for her in the middle of the raging seas that was her life before.

She isn’t sure she’s ready to leave them yet, but she knows she probably has to.

Everyone she’s ever lived with, everyone she’s ever gotten close to, has deserted her or abandoned her, and she knows she can’t hold onto the idea that just because Killian found her and took her in he’ll want her to stay forever.

It’s the only thing she can hold onto while they go back onto the ship a short while later, when he’s staring at her as if he wants to say something, the intensity of his gaze so much that she feels it practically burning her.

She turns away before he can say anything, heads up onto the upper deck where Captain Jones stands, and offers her assistance.

“You don’t have to help,” Liam tells her, shaking his head. “If you’d like, I can ask Killian to keep you company down in your cabin.”

Emma shakes her head. “No, I really just want to help. I can’t expect to stay here free.”

Liam frowns and for a moment she thinks he’ll deny her, but then he nods. “Very well. You can help me for now.”

..

She ends up staying aboard _The Jewel of the Realm_ for another few months.

They make port at dozens of islands and continents in the time it takes for them to complete their tour for the kingdom: scoping out the surrounding land masses and finding potential weaknesses.

She’s become as much a part of the crew as anyone else and she tries her hardest to not get too attached, but the men aboard the ship are like a family to her now.

They’ve been through a lot together. They’ve weathered storms, have worked valiantly to fight pirates as they ventured into unknown waters, and they’ve explored unmarked islands together.

As she stands on the deck at sunset, her gaze fixed on the horizon, she starts to feel a heavy melancholy on her chest. There have been so many memories here on this ship and with these men.

Birthdays and laughter and games. Stories and lessons and song.

She’s danced on this very deck with many of the men on slow days out at sea, her smile spread wide while she was taught the way of the waltz by Sullivan, the heavy cook with a jolly laugh.

Killian had been so obviously jealous, insisting that Sullivan hadn’t an idea what he was doing, and had taken her hand, his eyes a piercing shade of blue, and he’d held her gently while he danced with her instead.

The men all teased Killian, especially Liam, when Killian ended up tripping on his own feet, and she’d just laughed.

Her relationship with Killian Jones has gotten all the sweeter in these past few months. He’s the only one she feels very comfortable telling her story to, the only one she really _wants_ to talk to at the end of her day, preferably under the blanket of the stars above them.

She almost feels as if he’s an extension of herself now, and yet, she’s considering leaving him now that she’s seen much of what the realm has to offer.

She knows how to do much more now that she’s been a member of this crew for so long, and she presumes it won’t be difficult to find work when they get back to land again.

The ship is due to make port back where it all began come the morning, and then she’ll be off, hopefully armed with enough knowledge to start her new life.

Looking at the sky, she narrows her vision. There are grey clouds clustering together, a sure sign of rain, and it makes her worry. They’d just barely gotten through the last storm together a few nights ago. She’s still damp from the rain.

“There was a red sky this morning,” Killian says. She turns to look at him and shakes her head, not understanding. He pulls on a weak smile. “I haven’t taught you that yet?”

Emma shakes her head. “What does it mean?”

He comes to stand beside her, his eyes set on the sun, his jaw clenching just so.

“Red sky at night, sailors’ delight. Red sky in the morning, sailors’ warning.” The words fall from his lips like he’s stuck in a trance and they scare her just a little.

Killian narrows his eyes before he looks at her and she notices that the wind picks up as he takes a breath to speak. “What are you planning on doing?”

Her heart squeezes tight and she licks her lips, shaking her head. He’s staring at her like he’s already lost her, broken and trying to hide his emotions from her but failing.

“I… don’t know,” Emma answers him honestly.

“Have you given staying with us any thought?” He’s asking her so nervously, reaching up to scratch behind his ear while keeping his voice low and hesitant.

Emma doesn’t want to tell him the truth- that it’s all she’s been thinking about for the past few weeks as she’s only gotten closer to the crew of this ship.

“I don’t know,” she sighs. “I like it here, but I-” Emma stops herself, shrugging.

Killian looks wounded, looking down at the deck of the ship where he toes at the boards of wood with his boot. “Is it me? Do you want to leave because of me?”

She gapes at him and shakes her head. “No. Of course not.”

“Then why are you going to leave?”

Emma sighs. “I never said I was _going_ to leave.”

A raindrop hits the top of her head and she looks up at the ever darkening sky as Killian speaks. “You should get below deck.”

She gives him a defiant look. “I’m pretty sure I can handle myself out here, Killian. I was helpful last time, wasn’t I?”

The ensign opens his mouth to speak just as thunder cracks, a bolt of lightening brightening the sky.

“Bloody hell.”

..

It doesn’t take very long for the weather to pick up. Rain starts slapping against the deck of the ship and the wind makes it difficult to see, much less move around.

He loses sight of Emma for a while because of it. He’s told to help with the rigging and is drenched with rain as the ship begins to toss uneasily on the wild, stormy seas.

Liam is at the helm, barking out orders while he tries to keep control over their vessel that’s struggling to stay balanced.

Lightning streaks across the sky and he catches a glimpse of Emma, struggling to hold onto something she’s working on halfway across the deck from him. He finishes his job before heading for her, shielding his eyes with his arm, trying to make it in time for the next major wave.

He reaches her just in time, the ship’s tossing causing her to fall straight into him with a yelp.

Killian steadies her on her feet and she shakes her head at him. “I’ve got this, Killian! I don’t need your help!”

He grimaces. “Swan, I would feel better if you went below deck!”

“No!” she insists.

She fidgets with the rope in her slippery hands and he can tell she’s struggling to tie it off, to secure some rigging down.

“Look alive!” Liam bellows. “Hold onto something!”

Killian barely has time to look at the forward of the ship when a giant wave washes over the ship like a tide coming into shore. He falls to the deck and he feels Emma stumbling, but then he doesn’t feel her at all.

A wave from below forces the ship upward, sending him sliding toward the side of the ship, and he grasps onto the first thing he can find as he opens his eyes.

He pulls himself to his feet when he’s able and looks around, feeling slightly dizzy, but mostly, he feels _fear_ because Emma is nowhere to be found and it’s not entirely the best time for her to drop off of the face of the Earth.

“Killian!” Liam calls out. “She fell off!”

He’s never moved faster in his life.

Killian turns around, narrowing his eyes as he tries to spot her sinking in the depths of the sea. She’s not floating like she should and it gives him panic as he scrambles to come up with a method of going in after her.

Not to much surprise, the first man to approach his side with a rope that will reach the water when dangled from the side of the ship is Sullivan, his expression straight but clearly fearful.

They don’t have to exchange words, simply nodding at one another before Killian boosts himself up onto the side of the ship and dives in after his foolishly stubborn Swan.

He hits the water harshly, his eyes opening with great determination. His lungs are already burning with the ache to breathe, but luckily, he’s close enough to Emma that it doesn’t take him very long to swim towards her.

His heart skips a beat at the sight of her, unconscious and floating downward, her hair all strung up above her head. She’s so bloody stubborn and now he might lose her because of it.

Killian’s fear pushes him forward and he reaches her with not nearly enough speed to his liking, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he can.

By some stroke of luck, he’s able to swim back to the ship with Emma in tow, grabbing onto the rope that’s being anchored above by what turns out to be many of the crewmen.

He’s breathless, but he _can’t_ stop moving, easing Emma down onto the deck of the ship as the rain continues to fall.

“Emma,” he gasps, “Emma, open your eyes, love. Wake up.”

He doesn’t know what to do and his heart is racing harder than it ever has in his life. He bites down on his lip and shakes his head as he takes his hand to cup her cheek. “Come on. Quit being so stubborn and come back to me.”

As if she’s heard him, Emma jolts upward, water spurting out of her mouth as he eyes open.

Killian’s heart lifts and he laughs out of relief, glancing up to find that Liam is staring down at them, his eyes sliding shut with what must also be enormous relief.

He looks back down at his Swan as she relaxes back on the deck, her chest heaving.

“What happened?” she manages to get out.

He laughs again, dropping his hand to take hers atop her middle. He folds his hand underneath hers so he can hold it and shakes his head. “You’re alright now. That’s what matters, aye?”

Emma closes her eyes as she catches her breath and nods. “Yeah.”

..

He and Emma go below deck together, both of them a soaked mess. Killian’s arm is around her shoulders and her arm holds onto his waist, her nose burrowing into his shoulder when she coughs up more salt water.

They’re both shivering when they drop down to the floor of the cabin and he manages to walk them over to his bed, where he sits her down and wraps her up in the blankets as quickly as he can manage.

“I’ll go find you something to wear,“ he says, taking his hands and rubbing them down her arms as he studies her face.

The last time he’d seen her looking so small was when he found her in the alley all of those months ago. She needs him again now, and he isn’t about to let her down this time, either.

All of him would like to collapse back onto the bed and wrap up in a blanket along with her. His bones are aching and his lungs still burn from holding his breath for so long, not to mention the fact that the combination of cold ocean water and rain has him almost too cold to function.

Killian rummages through the trunk by the foot of the bed for clothes and spare blankets to use to dry themselves and carries them over to Emma, setting them on the bed beside her.

He stands in front of her to attempt to warm her arms again, causing friction by rubbing with his hands against the wool blanket.

Emma stares up at him with her teeth chattering gently and he smiles a little at her. “You’re alright, Emma. You’re alright.”

“Why did you save me?” Emma stammers out.

He furrows his brow, slowing his motions just slightly. “What? Why wouldn’t I?”

She shakes her head. “I-”

Killian drops down to his knees before her and finds her hands underneath the blankets. “Emma, I’m not sure if I’ve made it clear before, but I do want you here.” He searches her widening eyes. “You’re quite possibly my very best friend, Emma. Why wouldn’t I want you here?”

His chest weighs heavy with his admission, though there’s more on the tip of his tongue that he’s sure Emma isn’t ready for. For now, at least, she knows that he _does_ want her here with him. He hopes it will be enough for her.

A crack of thunder booms in the distance and the ship still sways with the tossing of the waves, but it’s relatively safe below deck, with only the light of the lantern on the table to see by.

“No one’s ever wanted me before,” she admits to him quietly. “I’m just used to having to always leave.”

“Well, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.” He inhales a soft breath and rises back up onto his feet, leaning over her so he can press his lips to her forehead, holding them there for a few lingering seconds before pressing his nose to the crown of her head. “I’ll let you change into something dry.”

He’s still holding her hands when she squeezes them, pulling him back down so he’s at eye level with her.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “For saving me.”

Killian nods. “Of course. You’d do the same for me, I’m sure.” Emma smiles a little. He winks at her. “Now you owe me one.”

..

In the morning, after the storm clears up and the sun comes out, Emma finds herself standing on the deck of the ship feeling _much_ better.

Killian smiles at her from his position on the lower deck and she smiles in return. There’s something between them that extends further than friends, even further than best friends as Killian had told her they are, but for now, Emma is glad to be able to rest in the fact that she’s here and she doesn’t have to leave this little family of sailors.

As Emma watches Killian, she finds herself captivated by the way he works so diligently. He clearly wants to do his very best work, as is always evident in the way he’s referencing _rules_ to her as they perform even the most petty of chores.

A tiny smile fills her lips while she watches him, proud because even after months at sea, he hasn’t changed too much.

“Ensign Jones!” Liam calls, waving his younger brother up when he looks at them.

Emma narrows her eyes at the captain and he just winks at her while they wait for Killian to jog up the steps to the upper deck.

“Aye, Captain?”

The man with the curly hair and dimpled smirk holds his hands behind his back. “That was quite the heroic effort last night saving the lady Swan, little brother.”

Killian’s cheeks heat up a little and he glances over at Emma, who smiles softly at him, before he nods. “I was just doing the right thing, brother.”

Liam hums. “As you very well should have.” The captain studies his younger brother and then nods. “When we make port later today, I’ll make sure to have you recommended for lieutenant.”

Killian’s jaw falls open and Emma’s heart swells happily, laughter escaping from her lips.

“Are you serious?” Killian asks.

Liam nods. “Aye. As serious as I’ve ever been, little brother.”

It’s obvious to Emma that Killian is trying his hardest not to crack. Instead of laughing or smiling, he merely nods furiously. “Thank you. I’m not sure what to say- I-”

Liam chuckles and pulls Killian in for a brief hug, clapping him on the shoulder afterward and meeting his eyes. “You deserve the entire world, Killian. Never doubt yourself.”

Emma waits for Liam to step away, heading down to the lower deck to check on things, before she grins happily at Killian. “ _Wow_. You’re going to be a lieutenant.”

Killian reaches up to scratch at his ear and shrugs it off, but she throws her arms around his neck and he fumbles to keep himself stable, his hands settling on her hips.

“I’m so proud of you, Killian.”

She feels him become less tense and he sighs into her ear. “Thank you, Emma.”

..

“Now, hold the sword like so,” Killian says, his words reverberating against her back. His hand moves away from hers and she smiles. “And now you’ve got it. I’d say you’re ready for a fight.”

He steps around to face her, his warmth sorely missed, and she arches her eyebrow at him. “Do I get to practice?”

The lieutenant unsheathes his own sword, a wry grin filling his lips as he winks at her. “For you, Swan, I would move mountains. Especially on your birthday.”

Emma rolls her eyes, but mirrors his stance as much as possible when he tells her to do so. “Very good. I’d say you’re a natural, love.”

She advances on him, swiping her sword against his so it clashes. Emma laughs when he fumbles back, using her sword tactfully to practically dance him backward into the mast of _The Jewel_.

“Bloody hell,” he says bluntly. “Have you been sneaking lessons behind my back?”

She shrugs. “I thought I was a _natural_.”

Her wrist twists and she ends up pressing his sword up against his chest, stepping forward until she’s close enough that she can feel his breath on her face.

“I don’t think a beginner could do something of this nature,” he says breathlessly, his face flushed and his pupils starting to dilate.

Emma watches his tongue wet his lips and she grins, stepping back until she can successfully sheath her sword at her side.

“Very good work, Emma,” Liam chuckles.

Killian furrows his brow. “ _You’ve_ been teaching her?”

Emma laughs as Killian steps forward from the mast, sliding his sword back onto his hip. He looks between them and Emma just laughs again, reaching over to cup his scruffy cheek.

“Don’t worry. I still have plenty to learn.”

Killian rolls his eyes. “Bloody unlikely.”

It has been three years since she joined the crew of _The Jewel of the Realm_.

Three wonderful, beautiful years filled with adventure and memories, laughter and tears, long talks by warm campfires, and cool mornings with a coat wrapped around her shoulders while she watched sunrise after sunrise.

She’s grown and learned so much in her time here. It astounds her that once upon a time, she’d thought herself worthless and without value.

Emma has only Killian to thank for saving her life, for bringing her here when she was at her lowest point and helping, unrelentingly, to build her back up.

He’s been exactly what he’d told her he’d hoped he’d be for her: a rock. He’s always there, morning or night, willing to talk and share stories or to be a comfort when she feels like the world could quite possibly cave in around her.

And she knows his feelings for her aren’t just platonic. She’s seen the way he stares at her, with longing in those bright blue eyes, and she knows what it means in the middle of the night when she hears him sighing her name in his sleep.

But it isn’t as if she can’t sympathize. She’s had her fair share of dreams about Killian, especially as time and closeness has made him even more handsome, what with his newly found appreciation for a scruffy beard.

He’s grown, too, become more masculine with the years. And it isn’t limited to his physical appearance, of course, he’s wiser now, probably thanks to all of their adventures together.

Killian wraps his arm around her shoulders and presses a kiss to her cheek. "I forgive you for being so damn good with a blade, but you’re going to have to go get changed because we’re going into town now.”

“Of course,” she sighs. All she’s heard about for weeks is this trip Liam will be taking to the castle. She understands that the kingdom they serve is important to their tasks, but hearing about the government always makes her uneasy, especially since she’s seen her fair share of corruption from the streets. “But after that, are we going to celebrate my birthday?”

Killian sighs as she steps away, moving so she’s standing in front of him. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

She hums. “It still can be.”

Emma starts for the hatch that leads down to the cabin and catches Killian’s eyes, smiling at him once more before making her descent.

So maybe she likes him a _little_. It would be difficult for her to not.

..

“Now, Killian,” Liam says, his smirk wide and teasing. “Do I need to have this discussion with you again?”

Killian sighs, settling his hand on the hilt of his sword at his side. “Perhaps. It might help hearing it again.”

His older brother chuckles. “If you’re so keen on her, then you should just tell her how you feel. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love, you know.”

Killian glances over at the port they’ve docked at with his heart racing in his chest.

It’s become more difficult with time to avoid his feelings for Emma and while he’s a patient man, he’s also not sure he can take much more of her teasing, no matter how innocent she makes it out to be.

“I know,” Killian insists, looking his brother in the eyes. “It’s just that I’m not certain she feels the same for me.”

Liam nods slowly, clapping Killian on the shoulder as he leans in. “You’ll never know if you don’t speak up.”

His older brother lifts his hand to gently pat Killian’s cheek, making him blush just a little as he turns his attention to the deck.

“You’ll be my navigator this trip. It’s an important one, as far as I’ve heard, and you’re my best navigator.”

Killian smiles, feeling a little embarrassed, and nods. “Of course. Thank you.”

Liam hums and glances back toward the bustling port. “Well, I’d best be off if I ever want to meet the king in time. You and Emma stay close by. I’d like to get back out on the water before sunset.”

Almost immediately after Liam says goodbye, Emma emerges from below deck, dressed in a light dress, one of the few she has, and her hair cascading over her shoulders like pure sunshine.

“Hi,” she says, practically floating toward him on the deck.

Killian is barely able to breathe, the only thing running through his mind being the conversation he’d just had with Liam.

“Hi.”

Emma rolls her eyes a little and looks out at the port. “Well, are you going to take me shopping or what?”

..

As part of her birthday wish, Emma had requested of Killian and Liam a few weeks ago that she be able to go look for nice smelling soaps and for things that would brighten up the captain’s quarters.

Even Emma isn’t sure where the sudden urge for feminism has come from, but maybe it’s being seventeen now. Or maybe, she wants to impress Killian and prove that she can also have a soft side.

“Are you happy now?” Killian asks as they walk back toward the ship.

He’s holding the packages of things she’d decided she wanted in his arms, looking every bit the thoroughly wrecked puppy in love she knows he is.

“Yes,” Emma laughs. “Thank you for taking me shopping.”

Killian focuses on carrying her things back onto the ship and Emma floats on ahead of him to meet the men on the ship already.

“Happy birthday!”

Emma smiles sweetly. “Thank you.”

By the time Killian gets back onto the ship, she’s already at the hatch door, ready to take their new purchases below.

“Hurry up, you slow poke!”

Killian grumbles a little and it makes her bite back a laugh. “Who knew Emma Swan could turn into a domesticated lady? Just this morning you were dueling with me on this very deck!”

Emma shrugs, giving him a teasing look. “Guess you should’ve questioned me when you found me to see if I was prone to ladylike tendencies.”

He reaches her then, staring at her with only the softest of expressions. “I don’t regret taking you in, darling. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me.”

Her heart skips a beat at his words and she finds herself weakened by them, mainly because he’s never gotten so _close_ to telling her how he feels about her before.

Emma opens her mouth to reply, but she can’t, and Killian just smiles at her, one of those fake ones that he does when he’s embarrassed, and gestures to the hatch door.

“Liam will be back soon with our orders and then we can celebrate your birthday properly.”

She can see it in his eyes that he’d wanted to say something more, but maybe it’s for the best that he hasn’t. Emma has no idea what it would even be like- a courtship aboard a naval ship doesn’t seem normal, but then again, her relationship with the Jones brothers hasn’t ever truly been _normal._

She sighs. “Right.” Emma pulls on a little grin. “This was fun. Thanks for doing this with me.”

He shakes his head. “Surely you know I’d do just about anything for you, Swan.”

Emma laughs, looking at the packages in his arms. “Yeah. I do.”

..

When Liam returns to the ship with his orders, he has a soft smile on his lips and a leather bag hanging from his shoulder.

Emma watches as the brothers set about to make sail, Killian insisting that the crew demonstrate good form while throwing a bottle of rum out into the harbor. He holds his head up and his shoulders back, obviously making the most of his position in the crew, and barks out commands just as Liam comes to stand at the gangplank.

“My ship has never been in finer hands.” Liam says with a warm smile.   
  


Killian looks a little shy at the compliment. “Aye, Captain. We stand ready to receive the king’s orders.”

Liam glances around. “To your stations.” The brothers meet and Liam tilts his head toward Emma. “I trust the Lady Swan had a good day at port, little brother.”

“Aye.” The lieutenant smiles as he looks up at her. “I think she did.”

Emma nods when Liam looks to her. “We had sandwiches and chocolate. I’d say that’s pretty good.”

Liam chuckles. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed your day off.”

The captain comes to a stop by the railing on the upper deck and rests his leather bag atop it, turning to Emma first. He unfastens a button on the side and slides something out, keeping it hidden from her while he looks to her.

“Because it’s your birthday,” Liam says in explanation, “I’ve decided to give you this.” He holds his hand out to her and she stares down at it with widening eyes. It’s a compass. There are etchings on it, beautifully crafted etchings, and it’s made of solid gold. “If there’s one thing a good sailor keeps handy, it’s a compass.”

Emma smiles, looking up at the man, who nods at her. “Go on, take it. You deserve it.”

She takes it from him and examines it for a moment, unable to keep the tears from her eyes.

She easily throws her arms around his neck and he lets out a sound of surprise as his arm goes around her back to hold her steady.

“Thank you. So much,” Emma whispers.

She settles back down on her feet and clutches the compass to her chest. The captain bobs his head. “You’re very welcome.”

Emma can’t keep from smiling as she turns a little to see Killian. He’s grinning at her wildly. “Now you’ll never get lost.”

She shrugs, giving him a wry look. “Well, it’s not as if I’ll ever be alone when you’re always by my side.”

Killian opens his mouth to reply, but he can’t, and both Emma and Liam laugh at him. Emma goes to Killian, propping her arm up on his shoulder while she kisses his cheek.

“I don’t mind.” She promises him gently, and she means it.

When she drops her arm and moves to go to the side of the ship, she holds his gaze for a moment too long, knowing full well that she’s toeing the line that he’s apparently too afraid to cross himself.

“A gift,” Liam says to Killian, removing something from the leather bag. “To commemorate our latest voyage together.”

“A sextant?” Killian asks. “You always were the sentimental type.”

..

Emma sits on her bed in the captain’s quarters, the latest book she’s been reading in her lap. Ordinarily, she would be above deck helping as much as she could, but since it’s her birthday, Liam had told her that she wouldn’t be permitted to even think about it.

So far, it hasn’t been too bad of a deal.

The hatch door opens up and she looks up from the pages to find Killian climbing down. A smile spreads across her face.

“Oh, I thought you were going to stay on deck to help navigate.”

Killian nods. “Aye. I’ve got to get back up there in a minute or two, but I needed to give you something before our mission begins.”

She straightens out and closes her book, settling it beside her while Killian goes to the edge of her bed to sit, fumbling with something in his hand.

“Um…” Killian stares across the room at the other bed, then back at her, taking her in. She sees nothing but love in the way he’s staring at her. “I found this in a little shop during our travels over this past year and I wanted to give it to you then, but I figured it would make for a good birthday gift.”

He looks down at his hand and swipes his thumb over whatever it is before shifting, holding his hand out to her, and opening his palm.

The necklace is _beautiful_. The pendant hanging from the end of the chain is a swan, all silver. All she can think is that it must have cost him all of his pay and then some, just to give her a small gift on her birthday.

Emma’s heart rate quickens and she gasps. “Killian-”

His hand is shaking just slightly as she reaches into take the little bird on the end of the chain and she meets his eyes, bluer than she’s ever seen them, a nervous little grin on his face.

She examines the swan and runs her finger over it, the gravity of being given such a priceless gift very real to her.

“It’s so beautiful,” she says. “Thank you.”

Killian shrugs and she notices his ears are pink, warming with each passing second in close proximity to her. He reaches up to scratch at his ear. “I hoped you’d like it.”

Emma laughs softly. “I do.”

He stares at her, and she at him, for a few long quiet seconds, nothing but the ship rocking beneath and men’s voices and boots above. For not the first time, Emma gets butterflies and a warm rush of tenderness fills her chest.

  
She moves so she’s sitting beside him and holds out the hand that holds her new gift. “Put it on for me?”

Killian snaps out of his trance and swallows. “Aye. Of course.”

Emma turns after he takes the swan necklace from her hand again and she hears him take a shaking breath as he brushes her hair off to her shoulder.

He works nimbly, leaning in so his heat surrounds her as he makes sure the pendant is pressed against her chest in about the right spot. It takes him a few moments, but he eventually clasps it together.

Killian smiles at her when she turns back to him. “You look stunning, Emma.”

Her heart skips a beat and she flushes. “Thank you.” Her fingers reach up for the swan dangling from the chain and she holds it gently. “I love this. I’ll probably never take it off.”

“Good,” Killian says. He appears to not have meant to be so blunt, his whole face heating up as he wipes his hands over his thighs. “I- Emma, I have something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about-”

The hatch door opens just then and rips both of them from the intense closeness they’d just briefly shared.

It’s Liam, who doesn’t take any steps down, but just leans in as he calls, “Killian, on deck, if you would? I need you now.”  

“Aye. I’ll be right up.”

The hatch doesn’t close and Killian gives her a pained look, to which she smiles soothingly at him. “It’s okay. We’ll talk when this mission is done.”

He takes a steadying breath and nods. “Yes. I hold you to that.”

Emma laughs and quickly gives him a hug. “Thank you again, Killian.”

“You’re welcome, love.”

..

When the ship begins to lift out of the water and fly, Emma knows something is very different about this mission than any other that they’ve ever been on.

They end up leaving their realm in trade for another, this one seeming not very much different from theirs at all. The ship lands in a bay and they make anchor, Liam telling Killian that they are the only two that will be venturing off of the ship.

“But what about Emma?” Killian asks.

Liam looks hesitant, turning to her as they stand by the side of the ship looking out at the island. “If Emma would like to join us, then I wouldn’t be adverse. I should only ask that she stay armed. We don’t know what this new realm holds in store.”

It turns out, this new realm is called Neverland. A boy, who calls himself Peter Pan, is quick to introduce himself as soon as they reach the soil of the island, startling all three of them into drawing their swords until they find he isn’t a threat.

Peter Pan insists, however, that the plant that the king under whom they sail has requested them find _is_.

“Dreamshade,” he says, matter-of-factly. “It’s the deadliest plant on the island. Your king is really ruthless.”

Liam takes offense immediately. “Nonsense.”

“It’s medicine,” Killian says, echoing Liam’s earlier explanation of the plant.

“It’s doomed.” Pan tells them. “Why fight a messy battle when you can kill an entire army with the sap of one plant?”

Killian takes Liam by the arm, a worried look upon his face, and asks if it could be true, to which Liam shrugs off Peter Pan as a boy playing tricks on them.

Emma is wary of both sides, not entirely trusting the king and not wanting to believe the boy. She stays close to Killian and when he turns to look back at Pan, who waves and calls, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she takes Killian’s hand and holds it, drawing his eyes to hers.

It makes Killian stop suddenly, worry in his eyes.

“Emma, I want you to go back to the ship,” he says, his voice steady.

She furrows her brow. “What? Why? I can’t go back- how would you get back to the ship?”

“Have one of the men come back with the row boat in a few hours. Just- go back, Emma, I have a bad feeling about this place and I’m not about to lose you because of it.”

Emma shakes her head, sagging her shoulders. “You’re not going to lose me. I can hold my own, remember? I’m better with the sword than even you.”

She starts to walk forward, seeing that Liam has gone on further ahead, not stopping for them. Killian grabs her wrist and pulls her back.

“Emma-”

She gets annoyed and rips her arm away from him. “I’m _fine_ , Killian. Stop worrying so much about me.”

The trip to find the Dreamshade is long and _hot_. The plant they’re looking for is nearly at the top of a steep mountain and when they arrive, they’re all breathless with their sleeves rolled up past their elbows.

“Well, it certainly doesn’t look like medicine.” Killian notes as they look to the gnarly mess of plants with thorns guarding the rock beside them.

“You choose to believe that _boy_ over our king?” Liam asks, stuffing the drawing of the plant back into his pocket.

“That _boy_ showed us the path to the Dreamshade. Why would he lie about it’s nature?”

Liam moves to stand in front of the plants, holding his arms out. “To keep it all for himself.” Killian exchanges a worried look with Emma as Liam continues, “You actually think our king would send us to retrieve something _so_ dangerous?”

“Well, I would hope not. This is _not_ what I signed up for.”

“You signed up to listen to your king,” Liam argues.

“Because I thought he was a man of honor.”

“He is.”

Killian looks pained as he shakes his head. “If this is a poison, it won’t just end the war, it will obliterate an entire race!”

“What do you know of any of this? I am your _brother_ and your _captain_. You will listen to me.”

There is a moment of silence between them and Emma knows that this tension between them is something relatively different. They hardly ever fight, especially over matters of the king under whom they serve, though she knows that both of them are totally dedicated to their kingdom. The whole reason they’d signed up to be in the navy was so that they could lend aid during the war, in whatever way that might have been.

“No,” Killian says firmly. “I’ll fight my enemies, but I’ll fight fair.”

Liam looks annoyed, slightly, as he shakes his head and draws his sword. “Then allow me to disabuse you of that notion.”

The captain heads over to the plants along the rock wall and severs a branch of it, holding it delicately between his fingers.

Emma’s eyes are wide and Killian doesn’t say anything, but when she looks at him, he’s wincing.

Liam takes the thorn of the Dreamshade and presses it up against the skin of his forearm.

“Brother, don’t-” Killian pleads, but it’s too late. Liam presses the thorn into his flesh, ripping it in a straight line toward the inside of his elbow.

Emma averts her eyes, clenching her hands into fists at her sides.

Liam takes a breath and then shakes his head, looking up at Killian. “See? Perfectly fine!” He tosses his hand over at the Dreamshade. “I told you, our king would never lie to us.”

Emma still feels uneasy. Killian won’t speak and there’s something in the air that doesn’t feel _right_. Her stomach twists a little as Liam heads back for the Dreamshade, talking about gathering some specimens so they can leave.

He stops moving and speaking in the very middle of his sentence and Emma looks to Killian, who shakes his head. “Liam?”

Liam turns around slowly, holding his arm out as he chokes out, “Killian.”

Killian surges forward. “Your arm!”

Emma watches as Killian eases Liam down onto the ground, holding the arm infected with the Dreamshade, the black venom causing discoloration, as he goes down. Liam breathes in fast and short, looking directly up at his younger brother with the eyes of a desperate man.

“I’m sorry, brother,” Liam apologizes. It feels like goodbye and it _can’t_ be goodbye.

Emma gasps, tears filling her eyes as she drops down to her knees on the other side of Liam from Killian.

“No,” Killian utters, pinching his brow together. “No!”

He looks at Emma desperately, but Emma doesn’t know what to do or say, and they both look back down at Liam instead.

Her chest aches and she feels as if a part of her has been ripped away so violently that it’s hard to take in. He _can’t_ leave them, not like _this_.

But there’s still hope, she thinks, maybe. “Let’s try and go back to the ship,” she suggests, wiping her tears away. “Maybe we can do something for him there.”

Killian nods. “Aye.”

It’s then that Peter Pan shows up again, acting all high and mighty while he tells them that the Dreamshade will kill Liam as soon as it reaches his heart. But, he tells them, there is a way to save him, with the warning that all magic comes with a price.

He reveals to them a waterfall behind the Dreamshade and tells them that the water is a cure all for any disease.

And of course they’re willing to pay any price. Losing Liam would be like losing an appendage. Emma isn’t sure how they would survive without him.

When Killian returns with the water, they both boost Liam up so he can sip at it. In no time at all, his eyes open up.

“Brother?” Killian asks, joy lacing his tone.

“That’s _captain_ to you,” Liam teases, sitting up with their help.

Emma can’t help but wrap her arms around his neck when he’s sitting up for the most part and he chuckles warmly. “Don’t you worry, Emma, I’m not going anywhere soon.”

..

“How are you feeling?” Killian asks, bracing one foot on the ladder.

They’re flying now, finally leaving that godforsaken island called Neverland. If he knows one thing now, it’s that he’ll never return there.

He and Liam are in the captain’s quarters together, so Liam could write his formal letter to the admiralty about their findings in Neverland using his desk.

“Ship shape,” Liam replies, fixing the buttons of his uniform. “Killian, I should’ve listened to you.”

Killian waves his brother off, scoffing as he moves down into the cabin. “I’m just glad you survived.” Liam glances across the room and Killian begins to wonder about the next steps, seeing as they won’t be fulfilling their mission. “What now, brother?”

“We reveal our king’s cowardice.” Killian watches as Liam grabs his coat from the chair he’d draped it over.

“Well, lets hope the realm sides with us.” He can only imagine the uproar of the people if they learn of the truth- that their king would rather wipe out a race in order to avoid a fight.

“Oh, they will.” Liam slides his arms into his uniform coat. “To fight battles using unholy weapons is, as you say, bad form.”

His heart swells and a smile fills his lips. He’s beyond glad that Liam is alright, that they made it out of Neverland in one piece. He’d almost lost his older brother today, the one truly steady person in his life.

They’ve been through so much together that Killian can’t even fathom the idea that his brother could leave him now, not when there’s still so much to be done, so much to see and learn. He still hasn’t even told Emma how he feels about her, and Liam’s support of his relationship with Emma has been his prime motivator to finally say something.

Killian steps forward to adjust Liam’s collar, searching his brother’s eyes. “I will follow you to the ends of the Earth, brother.”

Liam just smiles in reply, obviously proud of him as he grabs his shoulder and gives it a shake.

The ship lands then, with a graceful dip into the sea, and Killian grins over at his brother, who mirrors him, before heading over to the windows to see their realm again.

It’s so good to be home. He can’t wait to stand on the deck tonight with Emma and see the stars that he _knows_ rather than those which covered Neverland. It’s _safe_ here and nothing is going to go wrong.

“What do you say, Liam? You want some company when you report to the admiralty?” Killian asks, smiling to himself at the idea of it. His brother doesn’t respond, and instead, he hears him choke, sending his heart racing as he turns around. “Liam?”

His brother falls to the floor, choking on air, and Killian hurries around the table in between them. “No!” He moves quickly so he’s sitting on the floor with his brother’s head against his shoulder as the life continues to be choked out of him. “No, no, no, no, no.” He can’t breathe all of a sudden, the pit of his stomach dropping. “ _Help_! Someone help!”

Liam stops moving, stops making the strangled sounds in his attempts to breathe, and Killian isn’t strong enough to keep screaming for help, so he shakes his head and closes his eyes, throwing his head back against the wall as the sobs come wracking through his body uncontrollably.

The hatch door opens and he hears footsteps, but he can’t look over, can’t think about anything but the fact that Liam was _supposed_ to make it.

He _did_ make it, all the way back to their realm.

They had plans and they were going to work together to prove their king to be a coward. And it isn’t fair because Liam was supposed to live a lot longer and be there for Killian for the rest of his life.

But now he’s _not_.

“Killian?” Emma’s voice cuts through his sobs and he barely opens his eyes to see her.

She’s like an angel, dressed in her yellow dress with her hair let down. She kneels beside him, looking at Liam and then at him again and he sees her shake her head before he chokes and remembers it all over again.

He clamps his eyes shut. “I don’t know what to do,” he says. “He was _fine_ and now he’s- he’s…“

Emma’s cheeks are streaked with tears when he looks at her again and she nods. “Let’s get someone to help.”

..

Killian’s sadness turns into anger against the king after they send Liam’s body into the sea. Emma understands it, feels it herself.

The fact that they were sent to Neverland to bring back a plant that would be used so ruthlessly is beyond her. She would rather do as Killian says and fight against the king, living under their own set of rules.

She’s standing amongst the men when he makes his declaration, tearing off his uniform coat and tossing it into the water, and her heart beats faster still as he sets fire to the pegasus sail, declaring that no one will go to Neverland again.

He tells them of his plan, that they’ll be _pirates_ rather than soldiers, and she’s surrounded by the cheers of her fellow sailors as they chant his name.

Killian stands there, in the middle of them all, his jaw clenched with anger, but he meets Emma’s eyes and she sees just how broken he is, just like her.

After it’s all over, after he tells them that they’ll sail for the nearest port and do whatever they well please there, she watches him go below deck, purposefully avoiding the cabin they share, instead heading for the storeroom.

Emma follows, and when she meets him, he’s opening some of what’s left of the small ration of rum they have left and downing a long, hard drink of it.

She steps into the room so she’s beside him and he closes his eyes, shaking his head as he hands her the bottle at her silent request.

The rum burns going down her throat and she winces at the taste of it, but she needs something to take the edge off, and she’s fairly certain this should do the trick, at least for now.

“If you want off the ship, when we make port, feel free to leave,” Killian offers.

Emma shakes her head as she passes the rum bottle back to him. “I’m not leaving.”

It shocks him, sending an eyebrow up high on his forehead. “You’re not?”

“No,” Emma responds firmly. “We stick together. That’s our thing, right?” She searches his eyes. “Best friends don’t abandon one another.”

He glances down at the floor and then back up at her, giving his head a shake. “Swan, what I’ve proposed is dangerous. I-”

“If it’s so dangerous and you’re going to do it anyway, then it shouldn’t be a problem for me either.”

He becomes tense, his jaw shifting, and he steps forward, close enough that she feels his heat. Suddenly, she’s grieved for the relationship between them, how instead of getting closer, they’re seemingly separated now by a wall.

Killian looks down at her, searching her features, and then releases a sigh.

“As you wish.”

..

They don’t sleep.

Instead of sleeping, they spend their nights on deck, sitting with their backs against the mast, staring up at the stars.

It’s too difficult to so much as think about going below deck into the captain’s quarters, even so many weeks after they sent Liam into the sea.

Emma buries the pain of losing the man who had become something of an older brother during the day by doing as much work as she can. She doesn’t stop moving, even if it means she’s exhausted at the end of the day.

But she gets nightmares too easily, and she knows it’s the same for Killian, _worse_ for him, so they sit on the deck of the ship, _his_ ship, and they gaze up at the stars instead.

His shoulder presses against hers and he holds her hand on nights like these, where tracing constellations turns into talking about memories and the sadness is still so real that it burns.

“I miss him,” Killian tells her softly, his voice breaking. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing without him here.”

She shifts closer to him and rests her head on his shoulder. She doesn’t know what to say, she never really does, and she finds that comforting him like this often makes both of them feel better.

“I think you’re doing great,” she murmurs. “He would be proud of you.”

Killian is silent and Emma senses she should move her head from his shoulder when he tenses. Tears slide free from his red eyes and she gets a knot in her throat.

“Emma, I can’t sleep and I’m so bloody tired.” He’s crying harder now, throwing his head back while he swallows. “I just keep seeing it, over and over again. And each time, I’m more helpless than before.”

Her eyes fill with exhausted and emotionally drained tears. “I know.”

“I just want some rest.” He shakes his head and reaches up to wipe at his eyes, still holding her hand with his other.

An idea occurs to her then and she doesn’t take the time to ask him about it, instead rising, tugging him up to his feet as well.

“Where are we going?”

“To bed,” she states. “Because every morning we wake up here, leaning against the mast, so I guess it’s better when we have each other. We’re going to go below deck and we’re going to find a bed and we’re going to sleep there.”

He doesn’t protest, probably because he doesn’t have the energy to. When they find an open bed amongst the rest of the crew, Emma pushes back the blankets on the small cot, then kicks off her boots, and slides herself into bed, as close to the wall as she can get.

Killian follows suit, pulling the blankets up when he’s in the bed alongside her.

It’s warm with both of their bodies so close, but it’s relatively comfortable, though they have to maneuver their limbs quite a bit before finding a position that both of them can actually breathe in.

Her cheek rests against Killian’s chest, under his chin, and he holds her against him tightly.

“Try not to kick me,” he teases, his voice thick and low.

Emma laughs through her nose. “As if there’s any room for that.”

They lie there in silence for a few moments. “Are we going to be okay, Emma?”

She sighs, knowing the uncertainty of their future. “I hope so.”

..

It does get a little better with time.

They discover that sharing a bed helps them sleep fairly well through the night. Killian only wakes a few times drenched in sweat, nightmares having shocked him back to life, whereas before it had been unbearable.

She’s always there to help him through it, though, there to hold his hand and anchor him to the present, and to soothe him enough with her tender touch to his cheek that he feels that he can sleep again.

They’ve been flying the crimson flag for over four months when Emma suggests they go back into the captain’s quarters.

It doesn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, but tears still burn at the backs of his eyes and he curls his hand up into a fist at his side when he looks down at the spot where he’d held his brother at the very end.

“We can change everything,” she tells him. “When we stop at a port, we can find new blankets and new furniture and change things so it’s not the same.”

Killian takes a deep breath and nods. “Aye. I suppose.”

They do, but it’s still hard to breathe when he first enters the cabin most nights, even with Emma right there beside him.

Liam becomes a ghost, haunting his every thought and movement. He can’t so much as look at the rigging without hearing his older brother’s voice.

His days are taken up on the deck of his ship. When they make port, which is relatively frequent, to sate his crew’s needs and wants, he spends his time gambling and drinking, without Emma at his side.

They’ve taken down a few naval ships in haste and anger, have found themselves developing a presence on the waters, and it’s exciting, being the elusive Captain Jones of _The Jolly Roger_.

He wears black leather and he’s met a few pirates in taverns that have given him advice, and he’s becoming smarter because of it.

Killian enters his quarters late one night, after drinking himself to the point of forgetting and buying an hour with a woman in the inn upstairs, with a scroll in his hand and laughter on his lips.

Emma doesn’t look pleased. She’s sitting up at the desk, a book propped open, and she narrows her eyes at him.

“What were you doing? You said you’d be back sooner.”

He shakes his head, waving the scroll at her. “I’ve found a treasure and _you’re_ going to let me borrow Liam’s compass because I need it to find which way to go. We need to start now if we’re going to get there before the other pirates, you know.”

Emma’s jaw falls open and she pushes back from the desk, folding her arms to her chest. “You’re drunk. Maybe you should go to sleep.”

He gives her a look. “Swan, I’m fine.”

“No. You-” Emma bites down on her lip. “You know, I was fine with you going out with the crew, but you’re different now. I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing by drinking so much and sleeping with women in those places.”

“Are you jealous, love?” he slurs, setting the map down on his desk clumsily.

She laughs. “No. You know why?” Killian shakes his head. “Because you’re not honoring your brother like this. This isn’t you, Killian. This- I don’t know.” She slaps her hands against her thighs and shakes her head, her long blonde hair dancing against her back as she moves toward the ladder.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

Emma gives him a nasty look. “Go to sleep. We’ll talk about this… _treasure_ in the morning.”

She starts up the ladder and he grimaces at her. “You’re being ridiculous.”

It makes Emma stop moving, turning her head to look at him. “ _I’m_ being ridiculous.”

He nods once and she steps back down so she’s on the floor again. “Fine, you know what, take Liam’s compass. He gave it to me so I wouldn’t get lost, but I guess I don’t need it anymore, because I think getting lost is right up my alley now.”

She digs into her pocket and pulls out the golden instrument, holding it in front of his face before stuffing it down into his hand, which she extends for him.

He slumps his shoulders while she starts for the ladder again. “Swan-”

“Killian, I’m not going to stay here and watch you do this to yourself.” She takes a few deep breaths, searching his face. “I’ve been here for all of it. I was here when you got promoted, I was here when we went to Neverland, and I was there when Liam-” She stops herself, tears in her big beautiful eyes. “I agreed to become pirates because we didn’t have anywhere else to turn. But I didn’t think it would mean that you’d abandon me for it all.”

Emma’s words hit him hard, even in his drunken state, and she releases a single tear before she finally ascends the ladder up onto the deck.

..

Emma sits on the deck of the ship with a lump in her throat, tears in her eyes, and an uncomfortable clenching in her belly. It’s only been four months since Liam passed and she’s not sure she’s ready to let go of him, but Killian obviously has no problem doing it.

Her heart aches every time she so much as looks at the helm of the ship still. It was difficult to move back into the room she associated with the former captain, but she’d done it in an attempt to move on.

Being with Killian has helped, too, but he’s become something she’s afraid of, someone she doesn’t know.

At first, he’d been easy to talk to and they’d been able to start healing by talking about Liam openly, but something changed the moment they found their first naval ship.

Killian had gotten a fire in his eyes unlike anything she’d seen before, and he’d ordered the complete destruction of the ship, demanding that they use all of the weapons they had on board to send it up in flames.

She remembers that day, when he’d turned to her laughing because the entirety of the ship was burning. All she could see was the lives lost, the innocent men who didn’t know that the king they served was corrupt, being strangled by the flames, and the families who would be without husbands and fathers and sons.

For the first time in a long time, she feels as if she doesn’t have a home, and it terrifies her.

..

Killian is relieved to find that Emma didn’t leave.

She’s sleeping against the side of the ship when he finds her the next morning, curled up in a half circle, and his heart aches as he looks at her.

He has a headache pulsing wildly against his temples and he doesn’t feel like he could do much with himself other than tell someone where he wants to go.

He keeps his voice low when he utters his direction to his first mate, then heads over to Emma, kneeling down so he can scoop her up into his hold.

It takes quite a bit of maneuvering to get her down into their cabin, but he does it, and she only stirs when he settles her down in the bed he’d slept in poorly the night before.

Killian takes the blankets and tucks them up to her chin and she sighs in her sleep, mumbling his name.

It’s been several months since her birthday and the moment he’d almost told her that he loved her. He’s grateful he didn’t, now, because he’s not sure if his feelings for her have been able to stay steadfast.

He leans over her to press a soft kiss to her hair and then, after one last lingering look, he heads up on deck again, equipped with his newly acquired treasure map. He doesn’t want to be with her when she wakes, because he knows she’ll be furious with him still, and the thing is, he doesn’t know how to fix it.

..

Emma comes down to the galley a few hours after he moved her to the bed in the cabin. He’s sitting at a table with a meal and a mug of coffee and when she comes in, she looks straight at him for a split, heart racing second, before she looks away.

He knows he’s foolish for thinking she’ll come sit by him, but he’s still hurt when she opts to taking her plate out of the galley completely.

Killian swallows the rest of his coffee and rises, set on going to her and apologizing for whatever it is he’s done.

When he finds her, she’s hiding away in the cabin, sitting on the bed with her plate and a book. She doesn’t look up at him, doesn’t greet him with that sweet smile or those bright green eyes. She just tears a piece of her bread and nibbles on it as she continues to read.

Killian hesitates for a few moments. “I’m glad you stayed.”

Emma doesn’t move or speak, nor does she make any indication that she’s even heard him.

He shuts his eyes and grits his teeth. “Look, I know I was drunk last night and I’m sorry for that, for coming in here and asking you to part with Liam’s gift to you-”

“It’s not about that,” Emma snaps, finally looking him in the eyes. His heart stutters and he becomes defensive, curling his hand into a fist.

“Then what’s it about?”

Emma stares at him for a few seconds and shakes her head, turning her attention back to her book.

Killian sticks his tongue into his cheek and sighs. “I came down here to apologize but if you’re not going to tell me what I’ve done wrong, I guess I won’t be making this right.”

He waits for her to speak, waits for any indicator that he has a chance here, but she doesn’t flinch. He nods in understanding and spins around to head back on deck.

Killian is barely on deck for a minute when one of the men shouts that there’s an oncoming ship.

“What are the colors?” he asks.

“Can’t say, Captain.”

He sighs. “Okay, then, battle stations until we find otherwise.”

..

The noises above deck combined with the obvious canon fire lure her there and she’s surprised to find that _The Jolly_ is right next to another ship.

Men are fighting on both ships, swords clashing and gunsmoke thick in the air. She can’t tell what’s going on, how this ended up happening, but she knows better than to stay exposed without a weapon, so she heads back down as fast as she can and equips herself for battle.

When she gets on deck with her sword in her hand, she searches for Killian, finding him engaged in an intimate battle with what appears to be the other ship’s captain, on the other ship.

Emma sighs and she’s about to ask someone what’s going on when she’s approached by a man she’s never seen before.

She’s fast on her feet, but apparently not fast enough, because he jabs her in her hand with his blade.

Her eyes widen as anger settles in the pit of her belly, and she narrows her vision on the man, lunging forward with a growl on her lips.

..

The battle is long and well fought on each side, but the crew of _The Jolly Roger_ ultimately wins after Killian ends up forcing the captain of the other ship into the ocean.

A chorus of victory sounds all around Emma as she finishes off her latest opponent with a kick to his groin, sending him doubling over just enough that she can knock him unconscious against the mast.

She grins breathlessly, because as a team, the crew has always been so powerful.

Killian marches across the other ship back to theirs and laughs heartily.

“Lets clean this ship up, hm? Pick them of their valuables and tie the survivors to our mast. Those who wish to serve under my leadership will stay, but those who have other ideas…” Killian tips his head to the side, “Will walk the plank.”

The men all cheer and Emma slides her sword into its scabbard, hissing when she brushes her exposed wound the wrong way.

She holds her hand up to her face and closes her eyes, slumping her shoulders. It’s a bloody mess, the trail running straight down her arm and fingertips, leaving spots all over the ship’s deck.

Emma looks around for the ship’s doctor, but finds him otherwise occupied with his assigned duties.

She decidedly starts for the hatch, hoping that maybe just washing her hand out in the wash basin will be enough for the time being, and she thankfully is allowed to do it without being stopped by anyone.

The water turns red as she soaks her hand in the lukewarm water and she hisses again at the sensation. It isn’t enough, though, because as soon as she draws her hand out, it continues to bleed, runnier thanks to the water on her palm.

She turns when the hatch door opens and she sighs when she sees that it’s Killian, still walking around with that ridiculous proud air about him.

He’s frowning, though, and he steps up to her. “What happened?”

Emma looks at her hand, holding it a little closer to her, and shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not _nothing_. Let me have a look.” Killian takes her hand gently into his own and hums.

He easily plucks up the bottle of rum at his side and pops the cork with his teeth, still holding her hand in his.

She takes a moment to examine him, finding that he’s grimy and sweaty due to his time in battle, but otherwise he doesn’t appear to have sustained any cuts or bruises.

He pours the alcohol over her cut and she jumps. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Cleaning your wound with rum,” he states, as if it’s obvious. “A bloody waste of it too.”

Emma rolls her eyes and watches as he pulls a scarf off of his neck, taking it to her hand and wrapping it expertly.

He ties it off and then smiles a little. “There.”

She nods and looks away from him before moving back, starting to feel uncomfortable again.

“They attacked us,” Killian tells her. “We really had no choice but to defend ourselves. They’re pirates too, what else could we do?”

Emma shrugs, feeling weak with how tired she is, of this tension between them, of physically exerting herself just now, and sinks down onto the bunk.

“I don’t know.”

She’s looking at him now, sees the mixture of emotion on his face, anger and confusion mostly. He runs his hand through his hair.

“I just came because I saw you were hurt,” he finally says, sighing. “I don’t have time to fight with you.”

Emma rolls her eyes, unwilling to talk to him any further, at least, not tonight or anytime soon. “Whatever.”

He looks wounded as he stares at her. He spins around with a nod and heads back up on deck, leaving her to her thoughts as she lies back on the bed.

She’s not sure how much more of this she’ll be able to take. Maybe she should just leave the next time they make port.

..

Somehow, she’s convinced to stay.

Maybe it’s the relationships she has with the crewmen. Maybe it’s the way she can watch the sunrise and sunset without being interrupted. Maybe it’s the quiet solitude that being on a ship like this can offer.

Either way, it surely isn’t because of Killian.

When they pull into port a few days after the fight with the pirates, it’s already nightfall and she’s been anxious to stretch her legs and see what’s so great about these _taverns_ she’s always hearing about.

Besides the fact that every night, Killian comes to their bed smelling of rum. She turns with her back facing him when he finally decides to show up and he sighs when he lies down.

Sometimes she wishes that they didn’t have to share a bunk, but then she considers what it was like when they weren’t sharing and knows that she’d get even fewer hours of sleep if they didn’t.

Things between them are kept at only a few words exchanged a day, if that. But she can see it in his face that he’s apologetic, that he doesn’t necessarily enjoy the distance put between them.

She doesn’t either, but she has no choice.

Most of the men, including Killian, leave the ship along with her. They all head to the tavern and Emma’s excited, because she’s dressed in one of her best dresses and she has nothing else to worry herself with except for enjoying herself for once.

She’ll be eighteen soon, and that’s good enough reason for her to drink up with a few rowdy men surrounding her.

Emma easily becomes the center of attention as soon as the drinks start being passed around. Men from all over the bar come visit her at her table and offer her one and she allows them a few minutes conversation in exchange.

Killian is sitting in her line of vision and she keeps checking on him to see if he’s looking. He never fails to be, a brooding look on his face, and she starts to wonder if he’ll ever stop.

She laughs at stories some men tell her and talks with men from the crew of _The Jolly_ as much as she can, wanting to know about silly things, like their favorite color or their favorite place to visit.

There’s just a little bit of alcohol in her system, but she feels the effects of it enough that she purposefully stops drinking so that she’ll be sane enough to make purposeful decisions.

She leans in close and bites on her lip, cupping his cheek. “You know, I’m almost an adult, but some people seem to think I deserve to be treated like a child.”

“No, you don’t,” the man tells her, his voice low and warm, smooth like honey.

She hums and kisses him, because she _can_ , but when she parts from him, there’s a man standing behind them.

“Bugger off, mate.”

The man with the soft lips and the sweet voice scampers away from the table and Emma looks up with a frown on her face.

“What was that for, Killian? I was just having fun.”

He shakes his head. “You weren’t.”

She pushes herself to her feet so she’s at his level. “What do you know about what I think is fun?”

Emma purposefully brushes his shoulder with hers on her way out of the tavern, set on heading back to the ship.

It’s colder out now and she shivers, wrapping her arms around her middle as she moves.

She hears the tavern door open when the noise slips out, but she doesn’t turn around to see who it is. She has a feeling she knows.

“Emma,” his voice is desperate. “Emma, wait.”

She slows down and he jogs to catch up to her, his expression as tired as she feels.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, and she knows he’s being sincere. “For neglecting you. I- I’ve been making a lot of shoddy decisions lately and I know you’re not pleased with me. I just- I miss you, Swan. I miss us.”

Emma blinks at him. “Are you just saying that because I kissed a guy back there?”

He gives her a disgusted look. “No. I’m saying it because we’re not talking and I’m sick of it. I want _you_ back.”  

She shrugs. “Well, then we’re even, because I want _you_ back, but _you_ seem to be buried under leather and this idea that piracy has to be drinking and women and murder.”

Killian shifts on his feet, his eyes settled on the dirt below them, and Emma feels tears burning at her eyes.

“I used to think that you were going to be different,” she says, feeling weak and vulnerable again. “I thought, maybe, that because we still had each other, you wouldn’t feel like you had to bury Liam under all of that. But, I guess, I was wrong.” She blinks free a tear. “And it sucks because I…” Emma pauses to search his eyes. She’s been fighting this for too long to keep denying the reasons she’s so angry with him. “I love you. I love you and you won’t slow down to see that.”

Emma wipes at her eyes and sniffles before folding her arms to her chest and walking around him, back to the ship.

..

She sits on the deck of the ship with a blanket wrapped around her, staring at the stars with the sea beneath them.

Her throat is raw from crying and she oddly feels a little bit better. At least now, Killian knows how she feels for him.

Emma hears footsteps from behind her and closes her eyes, swallowing the ache in her throat before letting out a steadying breath and turning around.

He looks _wrecked_ , his jaw loose and his eyes slightly widened, and as he crosses the deck to meet her, Emma rises to her feet, the blanket still wrapped around her shoulders.

“I-” Killian clears his throat gently. “I didn’t know.”

“Yeah. I figured.” Emma forces a smile at him and he seems thoughtful and conflicted, looking at her and then the deck and back at her again.

“Bloody hell.“ He shakes his head. “I didn’t know, Swan. If I’d known-”

“Don’t worry about it.” She clutches the blanket closer to her as a breeze tickles at her skin. “It’s okay if you don’t…”

“But I do,” Killian blurts out.

Emma’s heart stops briefly and her eyes widen. “You do?”

He nods as he takes a step closer to her. “I meant to tell you on your birthday, after I gave you your necklace.”

He’s becoming more determined as he moves, landing right in front of her, so she has to tilt her head up to meet his eyes. He smiles at her, that sweet ear-to-ear grin she used to see on him, back when he was younger and without as much pain in his life.

“What were you going to say?” Emma asks.

Killian reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I was going to say that I’m sorry I’ve been an ignorant arse for so long.”

She gives him a look. “I don’t think that’s what you were going to say.”

He breathes a laugh, his eyes tracing over her face affectionately as his thumb and forefinger slide down her cheek toward her chin.

“You’re right,” he says softly. “I was going to say that I have been irrevocably, madly, passionately in love with you since the day I met you, Emma, and these feelings I have for you haven’t, nor will they, cease to exist, because you are the very light in my day and I was unforeseeably lucky that day I found you in the alley.”

She’s taken captive by his words, but even more by the way he’s staring at her, with such love and purity that she can’t find reason to believe that he’s lying to her.

A few moments pass and she finds that it’s hard to keep the tears from coming, a weak laugh escaping her throat before she drops the blanket and reaches up to yank him toward her, their lips meeting in an instant that makes all thought leave her mind.

It’s for the most part a sweet kiss, Killian’s fingers in her hair as his other hand holds her closer to him. One of her hands finds the back of his head and she sighs as she tangles her fingers into the impossibly soft locks.

He lets out a low, brief groan, and they keep kissing until it’s impossible to not breathe anymore, and even then, they bump noses, Emma’s hands moving to cup his cheeks. Her thumbs swipe over the scruff of his beard and she kisses him softly, something he eagerly accepts.

She gets a light feeling from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, desire and joy mixing to create butterflies in her belly.

When she lowers back down onto her feet, she looks up at him, finding him smiling. He skims his hand down her arm and takes her hand, their fingers lacing together easily.

“I don’t intend to let you down,” he promises. “Ever again. I promise you now that what happened before isn’t who I want to be any longer. You’re right. I’ve buried my grief with it, but it’s not ever going to be enough. Nothing will.”

She smiles sadly. “Yeah.”

He tilts his head toward the hatch after a moment of silence. “Shall we go to bed, then, love?”

Emma hums, biting down on her lower lip as she creeps up onto her toes to whisper in his ear, “I don’t think we’ll be doing much sleeping.”

She takes the lead, stepping backwards with him standing there dumbstruck, his jaw agape. “Bloody hell. _Emma_.”

She laughs. “What’s the matter, Killian? I’ve heard you in your sleep. You haven’t exactly been discreet.”

He groans, charging forward until he has her in his arms, his lips pressing against her cheek. “You’re a bloody minx, that’s what you are.”

She squeaks when he hoists her up, tossing her over his shoulder to carry her down into the cabin and laughs, smacking him on his back with her legs flailing until he holds them down.

“Killian!”

When he sets her back onto her feet, they’re both laughing, and she swears it’s never felt better, being with him.

He takes her hands in his as their laughter softens and she looks up at him, more than ready for what the future between them will hold. He leans in and kisses her forehead gently, his forehead touching hers as he moves down to kiss her lips.

“I do love you, Emma. I know it might not have been clear these past few months, but I do.” She takes a soft breath at his admittance. “You’re the entire world to me, Swan. I swear, you hang the stars in the sky.”

Emma hums and accepts another kiss, this time both of them moving toward their bunk. Her fingers are clumsy against his buttons and he ends up having to shed his big leather coat, but eventually, they’re both down to only their thinnest layers, kissing lazily as they lie on their sides, as if they have all of the time in the world.

Maybe it’s foolish of her to think it, but she imagines that they do.

..

In the morning, she wakes with Killian still warm beneath her ear and cheek, their legs entwined like they always are, and a soft smile spreads on her lips, because this time, waking up with Killian, things are different.

Emma shifts so she can stare at him, watching as he dozes, his chest rising and falling with a gentle pattern. He shifts in his sleep, his arm flinching upward, as if he’s looking for something, and then his breathing comes out in a sigh and he licks his lips as his eyes open.

He finds her then, and he wears a relieved sort of grin, turning onto his side to face her.

“Hi,“ she whispers.

“Hi.”

His voice is thick and scratchy, and she slides her hand up to play with his hair. He leans forward to press kisses to her neck and she squirms, giggling until he kisses her lips, and even then grinning as his tongue seeks entrance.

Emma hums when it’s over, his forehead resting against hers, and she bites on her lower lip.

“Do you remember when I saved you from drowning?”

She smiles a little. “Yes. Of course.”

“I would say you’ve paid me back. You’ve saved me from whatever path I was heading down, and I’m certain it wasn’t a good one.”

Emma shifts so she can see his expression, so fragile and honest. Her hand goes to his cheek and she shakes her head. “I’m sure you would’ve found your way somehow.”

Killian takes her hand to kiss her palm. “Not without your help. You give me a reason to change.”

They rest for a little while, content in the new morning and what it affords, and Killian, for the most part, keeps his hands to himself.

She takes his hand and traces lines into his palm as she starts to think, about what this progression in their relationship will mean, about what they’re going to do as a crew of pirates, and what his promise to her will mean in the long haul.

“What are we going to do?” she asks him, looking up from his hand to see his eyes already on her.

He releases a heavy sigh. “I don’t know.” Emma’s heart sinks a little. “But I do know that whatever we do, wherever we go, we’ll do it together. Like we do everything.”

She can’t help but smile at him, his own expression mirroring hers.

“Together,” she says, earning a nod from him.

“Aye. Together.”


End file.
